The final countdown

Well, this is it. All features and guest musicians are arranged, all songs are written and demo'd, the recording sessions are planned and scheduled. Rehearsing with EyeJay Thursday to get the drums down and then after this weekend, if I don't have a full album recorded, it won't be for lack of trying.

No turning back now!

So I don't know about you

but working to produce creative content is one of the most fulfilling forms of work I know besides good hard labor. The work I do on an every day basis I don't really care for all that much. It's interesting enough to do for money...

There isn't enough joy in life lately, or ever really. There is always too much despair.

I've been reading a lot lately, or at least a lot compared to where I'd been for the last few years which was nothing. I used to love reading but nowadays the tired excuse "I don't have the time" seems to suddenly have the energy to produce itself with a surprising regularity. I've been working on things instead which is good but stressful. I don't think I'm getting enough sleep so I guess here's where we find out can I crack it or just crack? I think I'm doing fine though. Anyways, fine enough to sit here wasting time blogging instead of working! Oh god, where am I?

I have a show on February 11th with my band Not Equal. It's going to be really awesome. Having a show scheduled is a galvanizing feeling. I feel like I can conquer anything! The next day though who knows. It's this kind of uncertainty, like walking over the edge of a cliff with your eyes closed. Is there a bottom or will you just fall forever?

I'm looking forwad to playing shows because to me I guess that is the reason for doing what you're doing. Being in a band and not getting gigs is pointless or, at least it can feel that way. What's the point of playing or writing songs if you're not going to find some way to share them with people? I don't even care if people love us but I'm going to try my best to get them to. Fame is unimportant but success I guess by my own definition is important.

Things happen, slowly but surely. It's hard to remember to just breathe sometimes and experience one moment to the next.

The War of Art

I just read through the war of art by Steven Pressfield in one sitting. An hour even. I think that if I am capable of this, you are too and if you have ever had a feeling that you were not doing what you should be doing with your life, you are doing yourself a disservice by not reading this book and learning why.

For real.

Resistance killed my push up test. Along with everything else I have ever truly wanted to do in life. I feel like I have finally been given a weapon in a war I didn't even know I was fighting.

Even within part three, for all it's posturing about angels and God as the source of creativity in all human beings, there was a wealth of information about how failure is in a way ingrained within our dna and within the social constructs that we have evolved as human beings. Are you your Ego or your Self? Are you the lone coyote with dominion over all that your will encompasses or the pack dog begging for scraps from the alpha dog and growling at those who would try to take your barely earned scraps away? Point being, it's a great book, beginning to end. I hate religion but thankfully the spirituality that Pressfield espouses never resorts to doctrine or religion. So go read it.

In real life, there are no winners or losers

In real life you just have to make do with what you're given and what you take for yourself. I don't enjoy taking things and I hate being given them even more. The color of the sky has been unnaturally blue lately. Where has all the pollution gone? I've been seeing lots of beautiful days lately and I'm not happy. It must be the weather. It must be the environment. They found a lot of plastic and trash in the pacific ocean apparently recently that is the accumulated refuse of 3 continents pooling together to form a new landmass, thanks to the energies of our hard working oceans. The trash has been swirling around and combining and breaking down into it's base molecules. The trouble, so everyone says is that those molecules are unnatural and will end up lodging themselves in fish and other marine life, thereby slowly eating away and destroying the ecosystem. What people fail to realize is that there will be creatures that adapt and will learn to exist in our trashy oceans. There will eventually even be a landmass that will probably form on the surface if this continues, one that life will be able to start breeding and existing upon. Just like this place.

To be honest I've been in a pretty down sort of mood lately. I've been finding myself actually reading comments that people leave on websites at the end of articles that I subscribe to. I find over all, when they aren't completely unrelated or misunderstanding the intention of the article that they follow, they are insulting at best, vapid at the least. I'm amazed based on some of the responses that these people had the cognitive ability to string together sentences of words at all. That they are not only capable of doing so, but seem to actually believe or stand behind the horrible things that come out of their mouths speaks to a much darker truth I think we're only beginning to get a glimpse of. The internet is the tired worn face of a humanity that has stayed up too many nights drinking. It's the shock of seeing the exposed and rotted arm of a heroin addict on your best friend. I really love humanity a lot. I see a lot of potential and a lot of hope for the future. It's just hard sometimes not knowing if it will ever really amount to anything. I guess ultimately I'm okay with that. It is what it is after all and no amount of blogging will change that.

nobody fucks with the truth

Some things you will see in this blog:
(coming soon!)

uneducated, philosophical pseudo-scientific ramblings
poetry?
stuff that's more enlightening than what you'll find here.
discussion and ramblings that may intersect with what you'll find here
maybe some stuff about writing
maybe some musical stuff
maybe nothing at all! piss off!

Some things you will not see in this blog:

Intelligent Design

Intellectual Dishonesty

IDiocy

if you are capable of looking at the universe and seeing intelligence in its so called design, that calls into question your definition of intelligence.


So welcome one and all! If you are here by invitation please move to the back so I can address the ones who got here through the magic of the interweb.

Humanity is like a seething leviathan. Separate we are unique and odd individuals. Lonely even... Together, we form like voltron into a not so cooperative species where the individual parts are no longer discernible from the whole. A thriving and bountiful species of groups, sub-groups, categories and... individuals? This will become my outlet for the things that I discover and learn and read about.

It's pretty cool to be alive.